Signing My Life Away

My Covenant to God

I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for choosing my future husband.
I WILL love him, serve him, and trust him, as the spiritual leader of our home.
I WILL teach my future children to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.
I WILL always strive to give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
I WILL work diligently for the Kingdom of God and keep Christ as the center of everything I do.
I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a woman answerable to God.
I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfil this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.
“The Lord will work out His plans for my life- for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for You made me.”

-Psalm 138:8

BAM.

Lately.

I have been learning about the true vine...

1. Christ is my life.


2. The Holy Spirit is the presence of Christ in me.


3. I am a bearer, not a producer, of fruit.


4. He is the vine; I am the branch.


5. To abide in Christ is to allow the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit through me.


6. Change is possible because He is in me.


7. Christ desires to live His life through me.


8. Nothing comes against me that the new life within me cannot handle.


9. The life of Christ can produce the character of Christ through me.


10. CHRIST IS MY LIFE.

Jesus, Live through me your precious life today. Apart from you, I can do nothing.

My First Love

You are not ready to be married until you are ready to be single.

I have finally found my answer. I have never been thrilled about the fact of being single, I mean, what girl really is? I had envisioned my missionary work being alongside a lovely missionary hunk. I had dreamed of working side-by-side with the man of my dreams, both of us doing what we love, together.

However, that is Lexi's plan. Whether it lines up with God's perfect plan too, I do not know. I hope so..but if it is not, I will still praise Him.

So, while thinking this whole single life through I find that the most important question of all is... can I do it alone?

Will my love for God be enough to carry me through?

He is my greatest desire and with him, I'm never alone, I know. Am I willing to sacrifice one of the things I desire so much to serve Him?

I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am supposed to go to the nations and share Christ's love, so how can I desert my calling in life?

Single or in a relationship, I must always find my joy in my Jesus and live out His will to the best of my ability.

So. With all that in mind.. I have decided to go on a 3 month "romantic fast."

Actually, I am not really sure if that is something I should even talk about for all to hear but yeah, I'm working on the whole secret thing. I do not want to be involved in a relationship, think about one, dwell on one, talk about one, or even discuss about other people's.

There is too much focus on who is dating who, why did this happen, will I hear from so-in-so today, or looking a certain way to get some one's attention.. yada yada yada.. you know all the drama and consumed time with relationships.

I don't want or need anymore of it.

Take this world and give me Jesus.
This is a fallen world, full of ugliness and hurt caused by human sin and selfishness. But it is also God’s world, a world full of beauty and wonder, marked everywhere with His signature as the Creator, and that is what I hope to grasp so tightly through this fast.

When I thought about how you have to be ready to be single before you are ready to be married, I remembered my first true love.

My heart has been broken. Hardcore broken. And just recently, God showed me that I cannot give my heart away to anyone else, no matter who it is, until He is finished fully putting it back together.

So my heart is His.

My heart is completely in the hands of my first true love.

Some people refer to God's bride as a reference toward the church and some look at it in a more personal way.

Lately, I have been digging into what it means to be the Bride of Christ for myself...The Lamb's wife, for Jesus is the Bridegroom.

In Isaiah 54:5 it says-

"For your creator will be your husband."

From Genesis to Revelation, the Scriptures reveal Yahweh's desire to have an intimate relationship with mankind and for us to dwell in His presence. There are many different relationships described throughout the Bible: the body, family, vineyard, or an army. However, God's greatest desire was for a more passionate relationship with us; one that can only be pictured between a husband and a wife.

So what does it mean to be a Bride of Christ?

It means you desire a deeper relationship with the God.

It means you are true to your first love.

"We love because He first loved us. "- 1 John 4:19

When it comes to dating, I have experience both: a relationship where God has nothing to do with it, and a relationship with God as the center (you can only guess which one of those I was truly happy in.)

However, as of right now and for some time..(especially 3 months) I want to experience a relationship with God by being single.

Singleness should be viewed as a higher calling, not an indication that there is "something wrong" with yourself, or a curse of some sort. By no means should it be a terrible place to be at. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul tells us all about the pros and cons of a relationship.

In verse 34 I found the reason why I want to be single for a while-

"..she can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit."

By reading that passage of scripture, I realized I want nothing more than to be focused on the Lord's work and how to please Him. I don't want to be focused on earthly responsibilities and pleasing a man.

I am already God's Bride and I want to give all of myself to my first love.

Just like we get jealous in relationships, God is jealous in His relationship with us.

Paul left that for us to see.

"For I am jealous for you with the jealously of God Himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband- Christ." - 2 Cor.11:2

I want Him all... and the best thing about that is I already have him all..

Just the same, He wants me all....but how much does He have of me?

Maybe some day I will work towards a relationship with another a guy; There is noway for me to know what He has planned for me but until then..

I will spend my days dancing with God, knowing that He will let the perfect man cut in.

That perfect guy who will share my same desires- to go into the nations, spread the gospel and be a light for Him in everything.

My dearest Bridegroom,

Thank you for choosing me, for loving me, and for always wanting me. I know that I am the one you love who will always be enough. Please take my heart and consume it from the inside out. Hold my hand through these next 3 months and guide me on a path that is only of You. Help be sustain from any distractions and worldly desires. Take away my wants and give me You. Help me focus solely on Your will and learning how to please you more. Help me grow in my understanding of your power and knowledge so I can glorify you. I love you with all my heart and I am relying completely on Your strength. All eyes are on You, Lord.

Your Bride,

Lexi B.

Get me off this roller coaster

Ever felt like you were on a roller coaster with letting something go? Or maybe it is someone. It could be an addiction or it could be a way of thinking. We all have something at some point in our lives that we cling so tightly to, it is the hardest thing ever to let go. The process of doing so can takes days, months, years, or maybe even a simple few minutes. The possibilities are endless. However, it is never easy and it is never successful alone.
I always say you can never go wrong with taking it back to the basics....Who you are in CHRIST. Through Him we are sanctified. We are loved more than anyone on this earth could ever love us. We are perfectly made and we are never alone. We are new. We have grace richly available to set us free. That is the truth, God's truth. It is what we replace with the world's false beliefs and the devil's lies, that gives us freedom to be ourselves. We have to be reminded of our identity in Him. By knowing that..who we are in HIM..our behavior will change and we will have the strength to let go of everything but HIM.
In 1st Corinthians 1 we are told that God will keep us strong and He WILL be faithful.
God will provide a way of escape no matter how deep the bondage.
Don't give up!
He is the rescuer:)
"Knowing the truth, not struggling against the lie, sets you free. Receiving the victory, not trying to attain it, is Christ's liberating message."- Dr. Charles Stanley
Letting something go is not easy. It is not painless, and it can seem like it the most hopeless thing ever. Trust me, I know, I have been there.
Stand firm in your faith. Hold on to the simple verse we have all known since we could remember, Phil. 4:13.
It's not cliche people, It's legit.
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH HIM.
Please don't lose heart.
Nothing is hopeless when it is in God's hands.
It is going to be hard, I know. But our reward is indescribable.
Dear Wonderful,
Help me realize who I am in you, so I will be able to change and be more useful for your Kingdom that I will someday see. Reveal the truth that will set me free while I keep my eyes on You, whom I cannot wait to see face to face. I love you with all my heart, hosanna in the highest.
Your daughter,
Lexi B.

Resist

"Resist"- the posture we are to assume when facing the enemy
This is exactly what I needed today.
There are gonna be days when we feel like we are not strong enough.
When this happens, go to God in prayer. Ask Him to speak His word of truth to your mind and heart.
Keep this rule:
Do not make any decisions when you are too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
Refuse to satisfy your flesh.
We must keep a focus that is set firmly on Jesus Christ and His strength and ability.
My fight is going to be to allow God to control my appetite. By doing so, we can grow spiritually in every way.
I will fight my battles of this world on my knees.
Father,
I give all myself to you., not this world. Please grant me the strength to refuse to satisfy my flesh. I know I can't win this battle on my own. I need you every second of everyday. Thank you for saving me. I love you with all my heart.
Your daughter,
Lexi B.

WHOA!

Today God blessed me in so many ways!!

I have been praying about going to Bulgaria on a mission trip for some time now and today I most definitely got my OK to go.

I prayed and prayed that if it was His will, financially He would provide all that I needed.

Well today, a man at church came to tell me and my parents he wanted to pay for my entire trip. He said once he found out I was wanting to go he began to pray about how much he could give and this morning he just knew that this was what he was supposed to do.

WOW!:) I wanted to cry I was so happy!

I have been in complete awe of God ever since.

Not only did He answer a prayer of mine today but He pushed me to persevere so much more.

He strengthened my faith and gave me complete peace about heading over to Bulgaria in March.

I cannot wait to love on orphans and spread Christ's love across seas.

Prayer works and my Father is faithful to every single one!!:)

BULGARIA HERE I COME!

Why Smile?

It's sad that we have lost the ability to function in today's world the way God originally intended for us to.
We were left here to be a light of the world.
People should be able to look at us and see that something is different. They should see where our happiness comes from. Not from how we look, the things we have, who we are dating, or anything of this world. They should be able to see that we are different, because of what is on the inside.
Why are you happy?
What determines whether or not you are gonna smile that day?
Our relationships should be testimonies of the love of Christ.
We need to wake up. We have a duty here on earth. In everything we do. We don't have time off from our job.
People outside Christians should be faced with the open arms of Christ by the unity and love they see among believers.
As ambassadors of Christ, believers have the responsibility of living in such a way that others see Christ in us.
Being a Christian is not a pick and choose title.
We are supposed to die everyday. Die to ourselves..for the one who died for us.
Church should not be our duty, it should be our joy. Beginning our day with Him should be a must. Praying to Him should be a privilege. His presence should be our longing. His word should be our most passionate song.
As the body of Christ we are His hands and His feet.
We are His mouth piece.
Think about it..
We are the only Jesus most people will ever know.
Yeah, so we have heard all this before. So when is it going to click with us?
I know that I used to think the life of a follower was impossible for me. I would think that that kind of life just wasn't chosen for me. There was no way that I was anywhere worthy to be a walking billboard for Christ.
Don't get me wrong, I knew God loved me, but I wasn't convinced He liked me all that much.
I had in my mind, if I was supposed to be one of those bold, "I wanna change the world," Christians, God would miraculously fill me with His spirit and living for Him would come easy for me; it would be clear to me that that was the path He had for me.
I would pray and pray and pray for Him to consume me inside out, to overflow me with His Holy Spirit. However, it is when I realized He already had, was when I saw what I had to do.
When God sees us, He sees the Holy Spirit within us. The presence of the spirit inside us is a reminder of God's promise to finish what He has started in us. It is what says we belong to someone else. As long as you belong to the the Father, He will be there.
When He moved in, He moved in to stay.
So knowing and believing that the Holy Spirit dwelled in me only made me wonder why I couldn't feel that consumed feeling.
It was when I stopped just praying for it and living it that I got it.
Everything about the Christian life is active, passive is not in our vocabulary.
In Ephesians 5:18 Paul tells us how to get that consumed feeling.
"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."
When we read that, we focus too much on the word "with."
We don't really click with the fact that Paul was telling us the Spirit is the filler.
The term fill is aligned with drunk.
To be drunk means to be under the control of alcohol, to surrender one's body, mind, and spirit to it's influence.
It is the same thing with being filled with the Spirit.
When Paul said to be filled with the spirit, He was not meaning for us to sit around and wait for the Holy Spirit to be poured in to us. He has already been poured in.
You have all of Him you could ever possibly get..but how much of you does He have?
You see..that life..that bold, "I wanna change the world," Christian life, is meant for every single person Christ lives inside.
So wake up and fulfill His purpose for you on this Earth.
If we truly love Him like we claim on our Facebooks, Twitter, or inside the Church, we know that people are His method of reaching people.
So grab onto the way God intended us to live. Everyday. Do something.
Love Him.
Love His People.
Forget about yourself.
Be different because what is on the inside.
He chose you..accept it and reflect it.

mmm bread...

I know this is lame, but I am sitting in Starbucks eating a coffee cake and I started thinking about how much I love bread.
haha I swear I could live on bread alone and be completely content for the rest of my life.
Anyways, it got me thinking about Jesus feeding 5,000 people and how insane that is!
Me, being the over analyzer and thinker I am, kept digging into my love for bread.
How often do we think and wonder when God is going to bless us?
There are so many different ways He can bless us, but let's be real, most of the time we are wondering that question in a material sense.
After Jesus preformed the miracle of feeding 5,000, He exposed this materialistic attitude of ours.
"Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and you were filled." -John 6:26
Sometimes we don't realize we are only following the Lord to receive something; our eyes are only set on His blessings.
Jesus wants us to see HIM as the Bread of Life in whom all their needs our met.
The greatest of all God's blessings has nothing to do with this world or material possessions; it is the very closeness of His presence.
It goes back to M6:33 again!
That is why he instructed us to to seek Him first, and then all things will be added.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Are we loving Him for what He provides or because we truly love HIM.
When we love someone, we abide in them regardless of anything else. Isn't that the test of true love?
Learn to love Him and Him alone..and all your cares will be satisfied:)
So in a way, I am living off bread alone for the rest of my life..and I will most definitely be completely okay with that! haha..oh who knew coffee cakes could be so inspiring??
Dear God of my salvation,
Thank you for your love and mercy. I am forever grateful for all the things you have done, are doing, and have yet to do in my life, Lord. I pray that my eyes stay set on your kingdom and Your love. I am not seeking things. I am not pursuing blessings. I am seeking YOU and YOU alone. My heart is Yours. I love you with all of it.
Your daughter,
Lexi B.

Let Go

Rouse your faith back to the point where you can say, "The Lord is my light, whom shall I fear?"

God answer's the heartfelt cries of His children. Know and believe with all your heart that God will bring you through all troubles. Even when our troubles seem like they last forever, during that, He will provide and care for you.

Be willing to love and worship Him. Let go of arguing your side. Put aside yourself for once and then focus your life and your heart on Jesus.

Doing this may be one of the toughest things you have ever done but your small irritations, hurt, or hardships will vanish.

You will receive an inner peace like nothing you have ever felt before.

Instead of worrying about tomorrow, have confidence in the fact that God is your captain and He will guide you though every step, perfectly for your good!

Taste His goodness and wait for His blessings.

Remember waiting is not passive, it is active.

Psalm 27 roused my faith today.

I am so in love with my helper.

I am seeking HIM with all my heart.

Let go of this world.

everyday.

Less of me Jesus, more of YOU. -John 3:30

The Enemy's Secret Weapon

Tonight I realized something I have never thought about before.
I put so much emphasis on putting on the armour of God and suiting up for battle, but I never thought about taking Satan's armour off.
Strongholds can be good..and they can be bad.
A stronghold can be a source of protection for us from the devil, as is the case when the Lord becomes our stronghold..
Or on the other hand, a stronghold can be a source of defense for the devil, where sinful activity is actually defended within us by our false beliefs the world can make.
You see, I want victory in this battle. However I cannot do that if I am also giving the enemy a lead to where I am weakest.
All successful healing must begin by first removing the structures which defends the enemy.
Where are you weakest? Do you give Satan a place to hit your weakest spot?
A stronghold may be found in any area of your life, from a relationship to your eating habits to an addiction to the music you listen to. It can be anything that triggers sin.
In any case, it is something that you have never completely surrendered to Christ for Him to control.
For myself, my stronghold used to be perfection.
I fell so deep into the desires of this world, I developed a whole new belief system. I stood strong on those false beliefs too. So strong, I was killing my body to abide by them.
You're not good enough, Lexi.
Everything you do is average..at the most.
If you were smaller, they would love you more.
You just aren't naturally pretty.
Everyone will always give up on you.
I could go on for days listing things I used to truly believe about myself.
What people go through on the inside is real.
I will never think some one's struggle is too small to bother caring about..because I have been there. That is how my false belief started, with one small lie.
With one tiny stronghold.
The enemy's camp will only get bigger the longer you let him hide there.
You see, Satan feeds upon sin. Wherever there is a habit of sin in a believer's life, expect to find Satan urging it on, making it more and more desirable, or a making it a need in your life.
Before victory can be claimed, these strongholds must be pulled down and Satan's armor removed. Then the mighty weapons of the Word and the Spirit can effectively plunder the enemy's camp.
Do not rationalize anything against the word of God.
1st. Get rid of any objects or materials that belong to Satan. Or maybe in some cases, it could be a person or a group.
2nd. Pray in Jesus' name for the stronghold to be shattered.
Dig and find some scripture that pertains to your situation and use them in your prayer.
There is real power in Christ's name and Satan cannot stand it.
Keep in mind you are not the one doing the crushing of Satan's open target. Desire for personal power has no place in the war against the evil one.
Therefore, your victory only lies in humble faith in the power of Jesus Christ.
Jesus died on the cross to do just this!
To set us free!
Claim your freedom today and move forward in your relationship with Him.
There were no strongholds, no wrong attitudes, no faulty thinking processes in Christ's mind. Just before Jesus went to His death, He said, "the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me" (John 14:30). Satan had nothing in Jesus.
We also want to be able to say that Satan has no secret area inside us, no "temptation-buzzer" he can push that will open the door of our soul toward evil.
When the strongholds of our minds are crushed, though we may still occasionally fall into sin, we will walk in great victory. And we will be useful in helping others in their deliverance as well.
"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." -1st Timothy 6:12
Dear precious Father,
Please reveal any strongholds in my life, and give me your strength to deal with them. I do not want to wear any armour in Satan's name. Lord, I am gonna win this battle for you, with you, and because of YOU. You came to set me free and I want to claim that freedom today! Thank you for saving me.
I love you with all my heart.
Your daughter,
Lexi B.

Dear 2011,

You were all in all a great year. I learned so many things from you.
I will never forget you, but I will never dwell on you.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! "-Isaiah 43:18
I am leaving you behind, 2011. You strengthened me more than anything and for that I am thankful. However, you’re not the only thing I am leaving behind. I have other things that are staying with you.
So it’s a new year.A time when a new calendar begins, promises are laid, gym passes are bought, and fresh starts are made.It took me all weekend to decide what my new year’s resolutions were gonna be and I still wasn't for sure yesterday. But I have finally decided. However, let me start from the beginning...
I rang in the New Year, in Atlanta, Georgia this year. I guess you can say I'm somewhat of a fan Charles Stanley, considering that is why I was there. Chantall and I road tripped to Woodstock, GA on Saturday to stay with my favorite, Paul Birsdong, got the tour of the town and had some grand ole times there. Sunday morning we got up and went to first Baptist of Atlanta where Charles Stanley is the pastor. I can honestly say, it was one of the best messages I have ever heard; it was not one just for any Sunday. It was a message God gave me for the whole year and I could not have started the New Year off a better way.
Good news people, God wipes away our pasts. If we start this year out with Him, He'll make it the best.
Our life is like a road.
I want to take the road to life at its best, don't you? God tells us exactly how:
"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."- Proverbs 4:10-13
God directs us no other way but wisely.
We have hardships in our lives for two reasons:
1. to make us or 2. To be an example.
Jesus went through them, why shouldn't we?
Has it ever dawned on you that God is letting you experience what you have chosen?
When you chose disobedience, you get what disobedience brings.
We reap what we so.
We have to allow Jesus to be our guide down the road.
However, just because you have been saved does not mean He is the guide to your life. In order to do so, we must remember 3 things:
1. It makes a difference what we do with our bodies.
2. We need each other.
3. Whatever He says, do it.
Run with Him. Let Him lead you.
Remove everything that is standing in the way of falling completely in love with the one who loves you most.
In order for you to listen right, you have to have a clear mind, which requires a clean heart.
Yes, the world offers us so much, but God knows the desires of our hearts.
He knows what we want... what we love...He is faithful and He will provide.
There is nothing God can’t change. Give Him your whole heart, no matter how broken; just exactly how you are. Your life will never be the same, trust me.
If you want God’s best you have to follow Jesus’ way.
What is the first thing you think about when you wake up?
Start your day off with asking Him for wisdom for your day, we need it, we need Him.
Begin the day with the one who is your guide.
Also, how do you end your day? Fall asleep talking to Him and wake up thinking of Him.
Back to the three things we must remember- healthy bodies, healthy relationships, and being obedient.
Think on these things.
When you are not taking care of your body you do not have:
1. Energy
2. Focus
3. Alertness
4. Readiness
5. Capacity
6. Enthusiasm
7. Willingness
We need all these things to follow Jesus.
Good relationships will:
1. Encourage
2. Motivate
3. Energize
4. Comfort
5. Defend
6. Love
7. Accept
8. Serve
9. Forgive
10. Confront
11.Trust God & His will

Treasure your friends in Christ. Take care of them.
Jesus chose 12 friends here on this earth, to help Him do what God has called Him to do. Do as Jesus did.
Wrong choices in relationships can destroy us.-just look back & see.
think on these things also:
-Is this relationship loving someone or just wanting something?
-It is not our job to change people.
-Have the courage to stand by someone.
-There are people who only accept us on condition.
-In the life of a believer, the more you give the happier you will be.
-One of the most damaging things is an unforgiving spirit. If you are a follower of Christ, not forgiving someone is not even an option.
You cannot violate the word of God without consequences.
If you are following Jesus, He will never put you in a wrong relationship. Watch, the Holy Spirit will warn you when you begin to put yourself in one. Make trusting and obeying Him a habit.
You cannot lose being obedient.
Remember, you cannot expect God to answer your prayer if you have already decided to disobey Him before he blesses you.
This is my favorite part...
Things may cause us pain, it may hurt to let go, but whatever He says, do it.
Because-
If you follow Jesus Christ and you are committed to obeying Him, you can expect:
1. To go where you never have
2. To do what you have never done
3. To give more than you ever have
4. You will be challenged to surrender what you have held so tightly
5. You will love those you never have
6. You will forgive those you can’t
7. You will trust Him more than you ever have
8. You will become what you have never been
Surrender your life to Him & watch Him work.
Psalm 23…this is my story, this is my song, praising your name all the day long.

I started this year off rededicating my life to the one who gave it to me.
2011, I am leaving you behind and with you, I leave these things:
1. Any pursue of perfection
2. My chains of addiction
3. All fear of rejection
4. The temporary pleasures
Goodbye 2011...Hello 2012!
I am chosen and holy. I am dearly loved and I am new. I am not who I once was. I am the one He loves who will always be enough.
I only made one promise for the year of 2012. And it is a promise to my Father that I will always give Him my best, just like He gave me His best on Calvary.
Dear Wonderful,
Make me Eve again.
A new creature in Paradise. Before the Fall.
I am giving you my best. When I think of all the love you have shown and all the time you have waited for me, all I want to do is run. I am running to answer your call for me. I am giving you my best, all of my heart and all of my soul.
Jesus, you are my shepherd. You are all I need. You let me rest in your arms and you renew my strength. You guide me along your perfect path and it brings honor to your name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, because I know you are always right beside me. You are my protector and you will forever comfort me. You fill my cup with your wonderful blessings. Your goodness and unfailing love will help me persevere forever. I love you with all of my heart.
Your daughter,
Lexi B.