Psalm 66:16 has been the message of my song... the title to my story.. the daily reminder of what I overcome, all because of the one who overcame.
Here is a page from my journal during my search for answers in this world:
" I hate it here. This is the loneliest place I have ever been. If this isn't rock bottom, I don't know what is. If this is my everyday for the rest of my life, I don't want it..
hating everyone.
forgiving no one.
smiles and lies on the outside.
screaming and hurt on the inside.
coping with cuts.
coping with punishment.
coping with pain.
loving the pain.
needing the pain to feel.
broken and empty.
unwanted.
wow I never thought I would know what it feels like to want to die."
It wasn't long after this entry that I surrendered my all to God alone. It was when I stopped trying and started trusting His strong power in my life. I was looking for answers about my life from the world and not from the one who holds my life in His hands.
By trying to win my battles by myself, I wasn't only hurting myself but I was hurting the people I loved around me. Giving control to God and dying completely to my burdens has been the hardest and biggest struggle in my life, and the toughest time through my walk with Christ.
But:)
I am stronger now. It is His strength that gets me through each day at a time.
I start of every day denying myself, surrendering to Him, and running the race.
It is how I started today and it is how I will start tomorrow.
I have a story I long for God to use everyday, all day, for the rest of my life.
and the coolest part is, He's still writing it too :)
It wasn't long after this entry that I surrendered my all to God alone. It was when I stopped trying and started trusting His strong power in my life. I was looking for answers about my life from the world and not from the one who holds my life in His hands.
By trying to win my battles by myself, I wasn't only hurting myself but I was hurting the people I loved around me. Giving control to God and dying completely to my burdens has been the hardest and biggest struggle in my life, and the toughest time through my walk with Christ.
But:)
I am stronger now. It is His strength that gets me through each day at a time.
I start of every day denying myself, surrendering to Him, and running the race.
It is how I started today and it is how I will start tomorrow.
I have a story I long for God to use everyday, all day, for the rest of my life.
and the coolest part is, He's still writing it too :)
