Say Cheese

I love watching this girl pursue her passion.
She has taught me many things; however, there is one she never lets me forget.
Whether it is by her actions or words, she constantly reminds me--


Life is like photography-
you develop from the negatives.


Thankful for you, Camille Hooper.

thought on my mind today

Looking at the things so important to me.
The things I spend most of my time with or on.
The things that take my energy.

What if they were taken away?
How would I be affected?

Security is basing one's life on that which cannot be taken away.

Am I building my life on what makes me secure or insecure?

Lady of Security.

Living in a Pretend World

I've been thinking-

A person lives a huge part of their life in a pretend world. 

Really though. In a day itself, we daydream, let our imagination wonder, play the "what if" game, and avoid the reality more than anything. 

Lately, I have been learning a lot about limitations and how we love to put them on absolutely everything;

whether it is people, prayer, goals, situations, dreams, communication-- I don't know...anything.

We are always placing an end or maximum on things. ----Why??

When I was battling depression and an eating disorder, the way I described life was a perfect picture of a being lost. 

I remember writing multiple times in my journal that "reality is a prison."

If I was to accept my reality that meant getting better was hopeless, I would never be perfect, I would never be enough, and love was a packaged deal with heartbreak. 

Therefore, if I was to live in the world, in other words- except reality, than I would hate my life all the same. 

So what was the point? I began to ask myself that more and more. 

Reality is what eventually drove my desire to live away completely. 

You see, the limitations I had placed on myself, and on life, nearly ended my story with a tragedy. 

That is not OK. 

Everyone is either a prince or princess of God's

- therefore, everybody has a happy ending. 

Seeing the bigger picture now, I love how it all fits together.

Remembering the darkness of seeing reality as a prison, I realize how I was putting major limitations on reality itself. 

The world's reality is as far as I would let my mind wander. 

The world is what told me I would always have an "eating disordered mind."

The world is what told me I was not what perfect was.

The world is what broke my heart into pieces. 

Here is the ULTIMATE REALITY CHECK.

There is rest, comfort, healing, hope, truth, answers, joy, peace, forgiveness, wholeness, ETC, beyond the world's reality that we fail to look past a lot of times. 

God is our Greater Reality.

He, Himself.....the entire package is in HIM.

When we have God living inside our hearts, we begin living the ultimate fairy tale with the ultimate happy ending. 

Building a relationship with my Greater Reality has shown me how much more there is beyond what the world can give us.

The world told me many things, I chose to look past it and now look-

I overcame an eating disorder, depression, addiction, and so much more.

My mind has been renewed.

I see how perfect God has made me.

My heart is whole and treasured. 

#boom.
Exactly what the  world told me was impossible. 

Ever since the Garden of Eden, people have often felt they could and should know as much as God. That is what we do when we dream anyways. Therefore, a great amount of our pain throughout life is a result from dependence on our wisdom rather than on God's.

Consider His  hope and faithfulness in comparison to our dreams and outcomes -

In which are you going to trust??

Stop putting limitations on things. 

Let your mind wander. 

Think beyond what you can see.

Choose to live your happy ending. 

Like I have said before, 

Hope is the dream of a soul awake. 

Dreamers live in a pretend world- they have already chosen that it will only be a dream.

Let's be real, dreams only come true in fairy tales, we all know that- so don't just dream--hope!

Does the world even know what hope is?

Maybe they would if there were less dreamers.

Have hope that your Greater Reality can and WILL make all things possible.

And I promise you, better yet- HE already has promised you!- It will come true:)

Embrace the rainbow.

Be more than just a dreamer. 

Our Greater Reality is capable. 

Check it.

Driving School Curriculum

I strongly believe there is meaning behind every story, every word, every motive...everything. 

And when the meaning is not obvious or evident, I tend to find my mind searching and creating it myself. 

Does that make since?

I'm a thinker. 

I love to people watch. 

And I love to find beauty and purpose in anything. 

Yesterday, I got to spend 4 hours in Driving school.

I know, I know, how did I get so lucky?-- simple. California roll a stop sign on campus and you'll get your chance:)

Anyways- let's be real... I was in and out of that lecture like crazy. My mind was anywhere and everywhere, but there; exams, my sister's engagement party (that was currently going on), lunch, when I was going to sleep next, diet coke, cats, you know- the usual.

The only thing I could tell you was, I learned that eighteen-wheelers have 6 blind-spots. 

I may have heard more he had to say if it wasn't for my wandering mind. 

However, I am ok with missing what was said, because I like where it ended up this time. 

God speaks. 

Anywhere and everywhere. 

Mr. Nicely, the instructor and owner of Nicely Built construction ( I found that so fabulous haha), asked us a question that spoke loud and clear to me. 

He said, "Seriously, if you know someone is 3 times as blind as you are, why would you ride along with them?"

Now, technically he was talking about driving near one on the interstate, 

but I heard something totally different. 

My mind left driving school completely.

Friends have such an influence on one's commitment to God.

If we spend most of our time with people who are not on the same commitment level as we are, growing is not only hard, but maybe even impossible sometimes. 

Don't get me wrong, by no means am I saying the only people you should hang out with are those who are as devoted as you are--how else would we build relationships, reach out, or share the Gospel to others?

I am talking about those who influence us

those we call our best friends

those we hang out with on a regular basis.

So many cliches were running though my mind--

             You are who you hang out with.

             You can't follow the wrong and be right.

             Hang out with dogs, catch their fleas. 

             What you do is who you are. 

And so-on..

It made me think if others were influencing me more than I was them-

and if they were, in what direction was the influence? 

One of growth or blindness?

Or, in what ways were my influencing taking them?

We tend to be naive and think we are either strong enough to never let someone change us; or that it is not that big of a deal, no worries, it'll never happen.

Newsflash.

Sometimes the biggest change is the hardest to see-- until it's too late. (trust me, been there, done that, got the t-shirt) 

And yeah, maybe we can stand our ground, but that is all we are doing. 

We aren't called to just stand. We are called to run the race and that requires continuous growth.

In order to do so, we need influences who will sharpen us.

As I was sitting in class, evaluating the whole influence aspect in my life, I noticed it relates to one of my favorite questions I like to ask myself daily-

Does my commitment to the Lord make others question their commitment?

Get's me thinkin eveytime.

Mr. Nicely's question may not have been anything new and mind blowing, but it was definitely some food for thought.

And ya know, sometimes simple is the obvious we need, to eliminate the hard that is hidden. 

Thank-you Camille Hooper for being my Proverbs 27:17.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.- Proverbs 27:17

Gracie Tay

Of all the creations of the Almighty,
there is none more beautiful,
none more inspiring,
than a lovely daughter of God,
who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so,
who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth--

my little. 

A beautiful blessing. 

She's going to do big things.

Realization #3

It wasn't me broken in pieces.

It was the devil's work towards me that was broken. 

I Must Eliminate

Realizations. 

That awesome moment when they hit you.

Sometimes it feels like you just solved the problem of world hunger, and other times it can feel like you have just been slapped in the face, or maybe its a time when you wonder if anyone else saw your heart drop to your stomach. 
Given there are also those of the "oh, duh, wow I feel dumb' feeling. 
Regardless, realization moments are just solidly awesome. 
They are the end of something and the beginning of something at the same time. 


I wonder how many times I have realized the same thing over and over again.


Here's a twist.
Today, I had a realization that I've had a realization.

Awwwkkkwaaard.


2 to be exact.


These past 2 weeks have been 2 of the hardest weeks I have ever gone through. With the lack of sleep, crazy hectic to-do list, and all the other normal priorities of life, I was in desperate need of God's strength; relying strictly on Him to get me through every minute of every day. 


The point it is, when your days are literally calling for every ounce of energy you've got and requiring you to stand tall through it all...there is no room for nonsense. 
There is not even room for a battle with nonsense. 


I think there are sometimes when I forget truly how victorious God really is.
Yes, He can and will fight my battles for me.
BUT. What I tend to forget is this-
There doesn't even have to be a battle!
God is victorious before it even begins, I just choose to fight with it.
(realization 1)
Final exams haven't even began yet-- I don't have time to fight.
And so it clicks.
Don't.
I have a victorious God, who reigns over ALL.
Refuse to fight Lexi--- it's the easiest way to win--another incredible gift from above that only requires choosing. 

I decided to claim victory.
Just because I didn't have time to fight with these things should not be the only reason not to. I should never want to deal with them even the slightest bit--because I don't have to!

Simply say no.
Refuse battles.
With God, you are on the winning side.


(realization 2)
Whatever might reshape the picture of God's desires,
whatever may cloud my focus of the purpose He has for me, 
whatever could distract, deceive, or temp others to seek anything but the Lord Jesus Himself, 
I must eliminate.


Falling in love with my Greater Reality.
The journey of reckless abandonment.