#perfectionprobs

Only a person who doesn't fail is a failure.

Hold on to learned lessons. Rarely will you learn something once and never find yourself in that situation again. Something I have to go back to quite often is the way to battle perfection and the belief of being good enough. 
When I first truly recognized how often I failed to be like Jesus, I began to think I would never be good enough to please God. I knew I desired and tried to be committed to Jesus more than anything, but I saw my actions, words, and attitudes were so far from perfect, I couldn't believe I was anything but a failure. 
I pinned myself as a spiritual failure- someone who didn't meet the requirements of a Christ follower. Constantly I worried, "Does God expect perfection in my daily walk? What about bad choices, my weaknesses, and countless mistakes? How long before He doesn't take me seriously?" It's like I feared God eventually putting me on the shelf, because I was always falling short of perfect. I recited Matthew 5:48 in my head over and over again- "Be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect," and oh was I so never perfect...
As my relationship with God grew through time, however, I began to see the intention behind that verse. The more I became to know Him the more I experienced His desire and love for me. I saw how He continuously pursued me, even when I was certain I had just played my last straw. My view of Him as a judge, measuring my every thought and move with perfection, had turned it to nothing but a compassionate, caring Father, who craves my love- just as I crave His. During my struggles to please Him, I found Him more and deeper. I found my need for Him, not just my desire for Him.
Today in this world, perfection is impossible to meet on your own. I wondered how Jesus could demand the impossible, until I understood what He later said --> 
"With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Mt 19:26, Mk 10:27
impossible, but HIMpossible.
Whatever God may command or demand us to be or do, He empowers and enables us to make it possible.

"You can't. He never said you could. But He can and He always said He would."

This is a lesson I have to go back to daily.

A person who fails is not a failure.
Only a person who doesn't fail is a failure.
-because they have yet to understand a relationship takes two.

My favorite love story

A beautiful piece to my fairytale dream is my mother's wedding dress. As I was watching her take it out of the plastic, I felt hesitant for a moment, thinking that all trying it on would do is make me impatient for a day worth waiting for so much.  I have a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day on the nightstand beside by bed. I look at it all the time hoping one day I will be able to say "I do" with a man as wonderful as my Dad, and look as beautiful as his bride did on that day. However, the hesitance was wrong, it made me see and want so much more.. When i saw myself in that very familiar dress, all I could think about was how much I look up to the woman in the picture. if I become half the woman she is, I would be more than I could ever hope for.

My Mom is a treasure –

Daddy's gift more precious than gold…

The blessing she is cannot be measured.

Her love for her family is nothing but bold.

Her love is also like that of my Savior

Who sacrificed His very own life

so we might find joy and laughter

In a troubled world of strife.

Momma's heart is like His, holding us close

No matter how far we roam,

And her arms are always open wide…

ready to forgive and welcome home.

From the moment we were born…

her hands have been busy showing us love

with Daddy, ourselves, and others

Even when weary and worn.

Whatever she must do she is ready to go

never asking or expecting what is truly fair…

I wonder if I will ever be able to thank her enough

For all her strength, love, and care.

My Mom showed me how to pray

For that child she loves so much,

For she knows the fruit of her vineyard…

Depends on the Master’s touch.

My Mom is a treasure 

Daddy's gift more precious than gold...

His love for her cannot be measured

But through the lives of her and the man He gave her

His story of love can be told. 

I love you, Momma.
I hope  I can wear your dress as meaningful and beautiful as you did.

Choose Love

You are most like Jesus Christ when you are in love.
I once read, "Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."
Today love has become a mixed up term with little meaning. However, it is the greatest quality of all.
Don't lose sight of what matters most because of a feeling that tell's you "don't."
We must choose to follow our beliefs over our feelings.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

-1st Corinthians 13:7

Treasure this day, and treasure yourself. Truly, neither will ever happen again.

P4 Thirteen Style

Phil 4:13
A verse so often quoted but hardly ever believed.
It actually hinders us not to.

To confess means to agree.
Whatever we say, sends a message to our entire system.

When we say we can't, we affirm that we can't. It is that simple.

You cancel out what God desires to do for you.

Send a message worth receiving.

I will reach my goals.
I will win.
I am going to get well.
I am not giving up.
I will fight to the finish.
I will have enough.
I will get it done.
I will obey God no matter what.

I will, but He is the strength.
--all based on a relationship.

The Fear of My Past, part I

Today I learned from Joshua 1:1-9.

Just like Joshua, we have to deal with fear. Think about it; if Joshua was standing in front of God full of bravery and confidence, He would not have had to repeat, over and over again, for him to be courageous. You do not tell a courageous man to be courageous, that would be redundant. Therefore- I believe, Joshua, the mighty warrior, was standing before the Lord, shaking over what God was calling him to do.

In verse 3, God promised Joshua He would give him every place where he set his foot. 

You see, Joshua could not claim God's promise until he went and actually stood on it. In my words, God was basically saying, “You are going to go stand on it and take it, so I can give it to you.”

Our fruitfulness is in our promise land.

I feel as though for some people, at the end of their life, it is easy to hold God unfaithful for not ever seeing His precious promises fulfilled, but that is only because they never went and stood on them and claimed them.

The answer will never be because of lack of equipping, lack of talent, or lack of opportunity.

It will be because of fear and unbelief.

Choose the fear of missing God over the fear of doing.

I'm convinced, in order to live out what I have been freed from, I must remember what I have been freed from.

I am a tireless servant of God, dedicated to following His will for my life-- which is to share my downfall, both there and back, to offer the hope of God's rescue for anyone who may struggle with a related, seemingly hopeless, place of life.

I hope to offer a contagious desire of an intimate and deep relationship, with the most unfathomable God who never gives up on us, no matter how far down we have fallen.

Jesus loves me, this I know. I had been raised on those words for as long as I could speak them. However, I had forgotten that during my search for significance. It was a search for something I already had, which ended in turning my life song from,

Jesus loves me, this I know --> Jesus knows me, this I love.  

The Fear of My Past, part II

So. When the fears of my past tell me I can't, and I am standing in fear just like I picture Joshua was doing, I remember.

God's promise and provision. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

There are 3 significant things I have learned through doing so:

1. How to fall in love with Jesus.

By studying God's Word. I want to tell any girl I talk with to choose a Bible study and be all in it. Do the outside work, gather with other girls, and dig deep for answers. Ask God for a hunger and desire for His Word; a request God will never refuse. Whatever Bible study it may be, if it has the guidance of God's word—do it!

Matthew 13:11-12, I love how it talks about those who have been given Kingdom secrets, He gives more. That verse tells us, the more we seek after Jesus, the more He will reveal himself to us.

He will become a more triumphant and pure addiction.

2. Pray for what I lack.

More than lots, I pray for a desire and drive to be in His Word. There is nothing God wants more than for us to know Him.

3. Wrestle with the feeling of hopelessness.

Cry, scream, and break down about it. Let it out. But through your tears, let God's Word fill inside you.

Psalm 126:5-6 tells us our tears can bring us joy. We must trust our beliefs and not our feelings. That is why it is so important to know God's Word- So we can keep going, even when the world tells us it's hopeless.

We can give ourselves to something greater than painlessness—purpose. If we trust and persevere, we will eventually see the good through it; in us and others around us, while God receives the glory. Otherwise, God would have forbidden the downfall.

I don't have a testimony of a Proverbs 31 woman, and I won't be able to share a story of a pure bride. But I can tell people I love the Lord more than I will ever love a man, or anything else in this world. Not only does He satisfy my every need, but He also gives me purpose. He gives me the chance to serve Him by loving Him, while constantly telling me I am enough.

There are so many answers I don't have and so many things I don't understand. However, I can surely tell you this—If you place your hope in God, He will always....ALWAYS..place you where you can look back on your pain with victory and a thankful heart. You will stand stronger than ever and laugh in the face of your enemy.--You will thrive again.

Do not transfer an old fear to a new day.